Look around at the rubble. There are flames everywhere and the smoke is slowly killing you. Why is this happening? What did I ever do to cause this terrible event? I try to remember but the screams keep blocking me from trying to. The screams have stopped in reality but the echos are still bouncing around inside of me. I try to block them out but it is hopeless I doubt I will ever forget.
Was it really my fault? Can I be held responsible? I didn't want to do it but I couldn't help it. Maybe I could have resisted just a little longer and given them a chance to stop me. Their attempts were quite sad really. To think that a simple reversal would fool me into giving it all up. Of course he could have maybe tried but he doubted that he would have allowed himself to fail. He had worked hard and for that to go to waste would be terrible. Wasted work was one of the things that he hated the most in this world.
Thinking back on it he could see their faces huddled over the device so full of hope and then the desperation that came when their reversal failed. I wonder if they could anticipate their own deaths or if it was a shock. They had to have expect it after a little bit. Maybe they had seen too many movies and expected that the good guys would always prevail somehow. The Hollywood illusion of good and evil is so melodramatic and something that I have no time for. The real world is my movie screen and oh how much more real and exciting it is. So full of surprises and shocks. And the good thing is that it lasts for as long as you are breathing. Just to imagine that there are people out there who think that their lives are boring that they have to do things like drugs or other narcotics just to feel better. It simply is sad that they cant add their own spice to their lives like some of us can. It must take a real stupid sap of a person to find life boring. Not for me though.
I will always find something to keep me going. To keep me breathing. Even if it means putting my breathing on the line to do so. I can accept the risks. The real irony is that those people who I watched put their lives in danger for the good of others are the ones who should live and the ones I watched flee so hard that they put others in danger from their crazed stamped should be the ones to die. Yet they don't and the world keeps on turning. Why is there such injustice in the world. The ultimate irony is the fact that myself, being the instigator of this whole mess, would be pondering the events that transpired with a remorseful note.
Life goes on though. The world spins and turns and the sun will burn at an intensity that these people and animals will never fully comprehend. They will never fully understand their insignificance. That they are a speck on a speck moving around another speck in the rim of another dot flying away from billions of other dots all in a vast emptiness. They will continue on blowing their lives and problems and actions way out of proportion.
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Well I got interrupted. Well I noticed that the thoughts are not that in order and a little choppy. I noticed that when i started out I was just trying to figure out what was going on in my story and it really showed up in my writing. There was some confusion in my voice that I noticed. Then as I got my story a little straighter my character started to have more confidence in his voice as well as himself. I think that this is pretty interesting how when writing without really thinking about it I could write sort of how I was feeling. Of course you might read it differently so if you can comment it would be helpful.
Oh and the kind of scary part is that I wrote myself as a bomber/terrorist persona before I kind of knew why. I just hope that this isn't a type of psycho test that shows my personality and that it was just my subconscious wanting to challenge me. I also noticed that I switched from different points of views in the beginning as if trying to define my character. It might be a little confusing but I think that it has a cool schizo feel to it.
Oh and I went over and corrected all of my bad spelling but as for the grammar. Sorry but it was never really my thing.
Well I got interrupted. Well I noticed that the thoughts are not that in order and a little choppy. I noticed that when i started out I was just trying to figure out what was going on in my story and it really showed up in my writing. There was some confusion in my voice that I noticed. Then as I got my story a little straighter my character started to have more confidence in his voice as well as himself. I think that this is pretty interesting how when writing without really thinking about it I could write sort of how I was feeling. Of course you might read it differently so if you can comment it would be helpful.
Oh and the kind of scary part is that I wrote myself as a bomber/terrorist persona before I kind of knew why. I just hope that this isn't a type of psycho test that shows my personality and that it was just my subconscious wanting to challenge me. I also noticed that I switched from different points of views in the beginning as if trying to define my character. It might be a little confusing but I think that it has a cool schizo feel to it.
Oh and I went over and corrected all of my bad spelling but as for the grammar. Sorry but it was never really my thing.
2 comments:
I could just tell you on AIM...but where's the fun in that?
I think at the beginning you accidentally switched from first person (I), to third person (he), and then back to first person (I) again .
At least you are a bomber who is somewhat remorseful! Haha. Reminded me of Mr. Glass from Unbreakable. That would be a cool story...one written from his view point in the aftermath of one of his terrorist acts.
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