Ode to HBO

Oh my Honey Bunches of Oats!

How I love your sweet, crunchy goodness.

Every morning you await patiently while I sleep.

Every afternoon you are there for me when I awake.

You turn my surly, groggy demeanor into one of bright sunshine.

Your rustle and crackle when being poured into a large bowl makes me smile.

The sloshing gurgle of the 2% as it flows around and over you makes my heart race.

As I mix you slightly with my spoon, I know that our courtship will be over momentarily.

I take a deep breath lift the first glorious spoonful to my mouth and then...heaven.

The delicious flakes and bunches of oats explode in a scrumptious honey blast.

My eyes flutter closed in ecstasy and every other sense fades away.

Almonds, strawberries, peaches or honey roasted.

No matter what you will always be delicious.

Oh, I love your sweet crunchy goodness!

Never go away, my sweet love.

Oh and unlike oatmeal and cheerios, you are good all day long.

Your Hard Thinking is Wrong

I am in love with somebody for a reason that is way beyond my understanding. Every time I sit down and just think logically about this person, I can find no reason at all as to why I would like this girl. I can evaluate every angle and reason, only to come to the same conclusion each time. The conclusion that she might as well be the precise antithesis of my ideal girl and there is no reason I should like her. Right? I mean come on. You could probably agree with me, that it just shouldn't be so.

But dammit I cant help myself. Sure when I am away from her for a good period of time, I can use logic to coax myself out of these strange feelings. But whenever I am near her my reasoning seems to go straight out the window. Butterflies fill my stomach and my thoughts get all jumbled. I find myself being drawn to her. I always want to be near her and have her talking to me. Oh and then when she does talk to me, nay, have any sort of interaction with me I just about loose control. My heart starts to race so fast I think it might explode. Blood rushes to my head, my vision starts to cloud, my ears either ring or pound, and I feel like I could pass out. If it wasn't for the gallons of adrenaline coursing through my veins and making my limbs tingle, I think I might have. Thank God that it passes after a few minutes and is less severe when the time between our interactions is short. This can't be normal. Can it?

But this is just the beginning. Once my little panic attack subsides my outlook on things seems to change completely. She becomes, obviously, the center of my attention. Anything that held my interest before seems not all that important. Even other people become less interesting. Lets take for example this other girl I have liked for several years now. Lets call her the ideal girl. Somebody who I have thought about and have definitely approved of. I like spending time with her a lot and enjoy her personality greatly. Well lets just say that when the both of them are together and I am also there all the feelings I have for the ideal girl leave me. It doesn't make any sense. Is as if my world is turned upside down and at that moment I don't really care all that much. Because for that moment everything feels great.

Then of course the interaction between us stops by her either leaving or moving on to somebody else and my upside down little world falls right on its head. And it hurts. I get an incredibly hollow feeling inside of me that lasts relative to how long our interaction was and what was said or done during that time. During this time of hollowness I usually reflect on the time of interaction and scrutinize every detail. I beat myself up for stupid things I said or clever things I didn't say. Then it is finally over and i feel right as rain after... yeah right, I wish. I actually have really random withdrawals that could hit at any time. I find myself really wanting to be with her when she is not there and feel almost sick when I know I cant see her.

Now if you know me you may be thinking something along the lines of; this is a load of bull he doesn't act this way towards anybody. And you would be right. I don't act that way towards anybody because I am incredibly good at hiding it. If you were to watch me around this person, I would look and act the same had it been somebody else. I found that this person may have my insides ass backwards but my demeanor is much harder to crack. I am incredibly happy for this otherwise things would be really awkward and creepy between us. Although the scary thing is that I think the more time I spend with this person the more of an effect they have on me. The last time I saw her I almost spilled the bean sack wide open. It was one of the hardest things ever to say goodbye and not whisper the three little words that I was screaming on the inside.

I am sitting here contemplating whether I should just come right out and say who it is. But I know that I wont. I did however leave a clue somewhere in this post and or blog that she might, just might catch. Unlikely though which is why I allowed myself to put it there. I am surprised I even wrote this. I am also surprised that you cared to read all of it. If you are still reading, feel free to comment with any guesses, advice, or thoughts. Who knows it might even be you who this post is about.

NORTH 1

A wash of static came over the radio. Aaron grunted as he went to fiddle with the dial. This wasn't the first time he wished that his truck had more than just the am/fm. He debated scanning on AM, but sometimes silence was better than the Spanish stations. He pushed the power and took a long sigh settling his eyes back onto the road. The desert plane was fading into desert hills and he could see a mountain range looming by the horizon. He had been driving for a couple hours and he had a couple more to go. The sun was setting to his left and its fading rays cast reddish hues on some ominous storm clouds to his right. Aaron hoped he could beat the clouds. He hated driving in the rain.

He was zoning out. His mind wandered along random paths in his brain trying to fill the constant dullness of driving. The thoughts soon found their way to her. He smiled. He hadn't seen her in a year but all of the old feelings still coursed through his system when his mind came to her. He hoped, after much word searching, that this weekend would be life-changing. He didn't want to end up going back to the same life he had been living. He wanted a change, he wanted a fresh start, he wanted to start a new chapter in his life and he hoped it would all start with her. Her smile filled his thoughts.

Red and blue lights flashed in his mirrors. Was he speeding? Yes he was going 82 mph. Damn. The one car he sees for miles is a black and white. Maybe his new chapter would have to start with a cop and it was probably going to take a while. He pulled his truck over onto the shoulder and turned his engine off. He rolled down his window and pulled out his ID/registration. A few minutes later he heard the cop's door pop open and the officer get out. A man of average height approached his window with the unmistakeable kaki uniform of the Highway patrol man. He walked up peered inside the truck and cleared his throat, "Going a little fast back there weren't we?" he asked with an almost humorous disposition.

Aaron nodded his head sighing, "Yep."

"Can I see your license and registration?"

Aaron passed it to him glancing at the officers belt. His gun mostly. There was just something about it that made this man more important and powerful than everybody else, at least more than Aaron at that moment.

"So, Aaron, where are you rushing off to today?"

"Um, I am going to visit my friend up north."

"Is that so. Well I am going to guess that this friend is waiting for you and will be happy to see you get there alright."

"Uh, Ya I suppose so." Said Aaron, trying not to give the police officer any reason to change his present mood.

"Well what if you didn't make it safely? Say you were in an accident. How do you think your friend might feel then? Probably not very good, right."

Aaron nodded hoping he was looking respectful.

"What I am trying to say is that when we do things, like driving, we are not only responsible for our own lives we are also responsible other people. For the lives of other drivers and the well being of our friends and families. You should always think of those other people before taking risks like speeding. You get that?"

Aaron nodded again, relieved that this officer seemed to be in more of a preaching mood than a writing mood.

"Now I am going to let you off with a warning and a little advice. You see those clouds? More than likely they will be dumping within the hour and slicking up these roads quite a bit. What most people end up doing, even when going the speed limit, is hydroplaning or skidding right off the side of the road. Especially in these parts. We have had at least 12 fatalities around this very bend in the past five years. So slow down keep your eyes peeled and make your friend happy, alright."

"Alright", Aaron replied with a smile and a great deal of relief. The officer was handing Aaron back his credentials when there was a loud thud. It sounded quite close and a little wet. Then another, followed by a squawking.

"What the hell?" the officer muttered walking back towards his automobile, hand on holster. Aaron glanced in his right side mirror and saw something pale and low to the ground slide behind the black and white's back tire. Turning quickly to look behind he saw the officer reach the back of his car and glance around the trunk.

Another squawk/screech erupted and a ball of yellowish flesh sprung towards the officer. He lurched back and the creature flew over his head and landed in the road. The officer staggered up and was drawing his weapon when the creature spun and sprung again. It sailed right into the officers head and its appendages leeched around his face. The officer started screaming and pulling at the thing now enveloping his head. His scream became piercing and full of pain before his body went rigid and he fell against his car.

Aaron stared in disbelief. What had just happened? His eyes were reporting everything to his brain but there was no response. Like he would react to a movie. Or a dream. Was it a dream. No. He wouldn't be sitting here wondering if it was a dream in a dream. What should he do? He couldn't possibly leave the officer there. He should call 911. Sure. Pulling out his cell phone he stared at a blank screen. Of course he forgot to charge it. Crap. There was probably a radio in the cop car but he didn't want to-. Oh hell he thought moving his body before his mind could talk him out of it.

Opening his door and taking off his seatbelt he placed his feet on the road. His heart hammered in his chest and he felt his mouth getting dry. He swallowed and moved out of his truck. He looked at the officer, well the former officer. The creature sat on his shoulders and seemed locked on pretty tight. Blood was soaking into the officers shirt and his hand seemed to be going pale. "What the freak?" muttered Aaron under his breath. He then noticed the pistol. It lay halfway between him and the body. He figured he could shoot the thing just to be safe while he was bending over to pick it up. The word impulsive was starting to echo in his mind when he saw movement in his peripheral. The body was moving.

Did that mean the officer was still alive? A moan. "Hey" Aaron said. The body started moving towards him rather clumsily. Aaron started backing up into the road. The body kept coming. Aaron raised the pistol at the body and shouted, "Hey!" It approached a little faster and moaned louder. He backpedaled faster. He had almost reached the other side of the pavement and would soon back into the guard rail. Taking a deep breath he pulled the trigger. Click. He pulled it again. Click. The body was within a yard and a half. It raised its arm, let out a blood curdling scream and-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! A semi barreled around the bend and slammed into it. Passing inches from Aaron's hands it continued to fly down the road and around a corner. The only thing left was the officers arm from the elbow down. The distorted fingers were touching Aaron's shoe.

"Aw Fu-

to be continued

Zombie Plan

I have come to realize lately that my Zombie plan is not up to date with my present location and affiliations. This is quite a scary thought when I come to think about it. At any moment the earth could become over run with mindless, blood thirsty, flesh devouring, infectious homo sapiens and I am just sitting here completely unprepared for such an event. If anything is apparent when it comes to zombie survival is that the survivors are always the ones who can keep their cool and stick to a solid plan. So I need to evaluate my assets and possible allies then find a location for optimum survival/defense.

I have a really good addition to my new plan and that is the miniature arsenal in my parents closet. My father owns 3 guns and I have 1. He has a 7 mil., a 308 cal. and a 12 gauge shotgun with plenty of shells. I have a 10 .22 long-rifle with one 10 round clip and one 25 round clip with around 250 rounds. Unfortunately .22 is really small so if I had to take down a group zombie I wouldn't feel too safe with just that. Which is why I need more ammo and guns. I have 2 options when it comes to this. Raid the Big 5 sporting goods near my house or somehow get to my uncle Paul's house.

The one place I would want to be when all hell breaks loose is at my uncle Paul's house. Whether it is for Civil war, Communist attack, alien invasion or zombies that is the place to be. The house is nothing in itself, it is it's contents that are awesome. I will start with his front yard. I am pretty sure he owns at least 4 different automobiles and a RV trailer. This is the perfect survival convoy because everything has 4 wheel drive, besides the van, and he is a mechanic so they are all in good shape. Next is his garage. My uncle is a big outdoors-man/hunter so every possible camping/hunting thing you need, he has. The most important being guns. Now i don't think that I have even seen all of them but the ones i have seen are awesome. Off the top of my head would be, 3 shotguns, a couple .22s, several large caliber rifles, .38 revolver, glock-17, and the most important of all a semi-auto AR-15. The AR stands for assault rifle and it is the coolest thing I have ever shot. Oh and did i mention that he can make his own bullets. Thats right. He can recycle used shell casings and make his own freaking BULLETS. Do I even have to mention his incredibly large stockpile of preserved food. My uncle paul is definitely in my Zombie plan.

The next thing that I would need is a group. Allies to stick with through thick and thin. Friends and family are obviously in. After them would be any hopeless people we meet along out way. Then would be the stop by the shooting range near our house for that one crazy guy with crazy guns and mad skills who is strangely the most calm during crisis. Next would be a very attractive girl around 16-17 years old who's family was recently infected and everybody she ever knew or cared about is dead/infected and she needs somebody supportive and caring, who is around her age, to protect and help her get over such a traumatic experience. And possibly a really awesome dog who can sense approaching zombies.

Well I need time to deliberate and analyze all of these conditions to make a solid plan worth following. I hope that you also have a zombie plan if/when that day finally comes. Don't be one of those people running around screaming bloody murder while you doom all those around you with your loudness. Those people are never fun. Well Good luck and stay tuned for any future postings on zombie survival.

Shout

Take the time to take time out,

If you do you will soon find out,

What this life is all about,

over and out.